Enemy
by M.Koffe
Summary: Nobody likes roaches. After finding one in their bathroom, Dick convinces Jason to kill it.


"Jay!" Dick slammed the bathroom door, and dashed down the hall as he pulled up his pants. "Jay! Jay! It's in the bathroom!"

"The fuck are you screaming about?" Jason was a sleep n the couch, and he was not happy being woken up n such a loud manner. "Why the hell are your pants down?"

"Jay!" Dick grabbed Jason's arm and tried to pull him off the couch. "Kill it!"

"Kill what?" Jason moaned, as he stood up, "Kill you for being an annoying ass and waking me up?"

Dick dragged Jason down the hall and the pair stood outside the bathroom door. Cautiously, Dick turned the knob and opened the way into the bathroom. It was there that Jason saw what Dick was talking about. Sitting on the tile, about a foot away from the toilet was a roach.

"Did you just wake me up to kill a roach?" each word that escaped Jason's mouth was sprinkled with a little more anger than the last. He turned to Dick to punch him, but was interrupted by a small thump in the bathroom.

The roach had flew and landed on the mirror.

"Oh shit." Jason shut the door and put his back against it.

Dick put his hands on Jason's chest, asking, "So, can you kill it?"

Despite the fear, Jason smiled to reassure Dick, "Yeah, I can kill it."

"Okay," Dick smiled back, and announced, "'I'll go get the bug spray."

Jason watched as Dick walked off into the kitchen to get the poison, but in his mind he thought, _Fuck bug spray, I can kill that roach without it, _and with those confident words to himself, he slipped his hand into his jacket.

Dick opened a cabinet in the kitchen where Jason kept all his chemicals and poisons. The only problem was, was that there was so many and Dick was unsure as to which caused instant hemorrhaging and which was a simple insecticide. While he was thinking, he heard loud shots coming from the direction of the bathroom. It was gunfire, and with a heavy sigh Dick closed the cabinet. How was he going to explain to the apartment owners why there is more bullet holes in their bathroom?

"Jason!" Dick stormed down the hall to his lover. "Did you just shoot your gun at a roach?"

Seeing Dick's creased eyebrows and stern, tight mouth, Jason lied, "No."

Dick rolled his eyes and pointed to the gun in Jason's hand, "Explain."  
"I shot at the roach." Jason admitted.

"Give me the gun." Dick put his hand out, palm open and waiting for the weapon.

With a grunt, Jason passed his gun to Dick. Dick set the gun down on the carpet which was now becoming soaked with the water that was spilling from the bathroom and leaking into it. The acrobat put one arm around Jason's shoulders, and the other was sneakily placed on the doorknob. He raised himself on the balls of his feet to lay a quick, soft kiss on Jason's lips.

"What was that for?" Jason inquired, surprised by the randomness of the act.

"Good luck," a mischievous smile formed over Dick's fluffy lips as he laid out the plan, "Because you are not coming out of that bathroom until you kill that roach." he turned the door knob and pushed the door open.

"I am not -" Jason began to protest, but Dick ended up cutting his sentence off.

"Go in there, kill the roach, and not only will I let you top tonight, but we can use my handcuffs." Dick bargained.

"And the blindfold."

"And the blindfold." Dick confirmed, "Now, go and kill it."

Now armed with motivation, Jason nodded and pivoted into the bathroom. As soon as the door shut behind him, his heart began to race. The bathroom itself was quite small and he was feeling claustrophobic. Water was leaking from the toilet, and was pooling over the tile. Jason took a step forward, the water was cold under his bare feet. His eyes darted from wall to wall, trying to find where the roach was hiding.

Then he saw it. The nasty bug was sitting on the side of the bathtub that was not crumbling to pieces because of the bullets he had shot.

Careful not to startle the insect, Jason slowly slipped his jacket off his shoulders and placed it on the sink. Then he took his shirt off, he was going to use it as a weapon and hopefully smack it down hard enough to kill the roach.

Jason lifted his hand up, tensing all his muscles in preparation to end the life of the bug. Seconds before he was about to bring his arm down, the roach took flight. He ducked down, putting his hands over his head and he stayed that way until he heard the soft thump of the roach landing somewhere.

He opened his eyes and twisted around in the direction where he heard the bug land. It was resting on the door. Knowing that he had to move fast, he stood up and in one swift motion he smacked the roach with his shirt. Stunned, the bug fell back and landed in the water below where it preceded to drown.

Triumphant, Jason stepped out of the bathroom to see Dick who was sitting across from the door, "Did you do it?"

"Of course I did."

* * *

**Because everyone is afraid of roaches. Everyone. :3**


End file.
